


Your Secrets are Safe With Me

by by_nina



Series: Royai Week 2020 [3]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:55:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24665725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/by_nina/pseuds/by_nina
Summary: He cannot hold her close as she breaks down, he cannot wipe her tears, he cannot whisper reassurances in her ear. He tries not to delude himself with the hope that they may be able to do any of these someday. Day 3 - Old wounds for Royai Week 2020.
Relationships: Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Series: Royai Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1779925
Comments: 8
Kudos: 25





	Your Secrets are Safe With Me

In the odd, early hours of the morning, Roy can just make out Riza’s silhouette on his bed. Her shoulder rises and falls rhythmically, and she has one arm around an equally comfortable Hayate. What a relief to see her so quiet and calm at last, far from the absolute mess she had been when she appeared at his door not even two hours ago. The way she looked—the way her sobs _sounded_ had made it impossible for Roy to fall asleep, more than the discomfort of the couch to which he had been relegated.

There are favors that can be exchanged only between two people such as themselves, who have shared both their innocent formative years as well as the singular harrowing experience of becoming monsters in Ishval. And at some point, they came to this agreement: either may spend the night at the other’s place whenever they are in need of company, no questions asked.

Roy has done this himself countless times. He has had many nights when the smell of the bodies he’d burned came back to him, when furious red eyes burned themselves into his mind again before becoming drained of all life. Each time that he has found himself at his worst, he has run to Riza, and he has let her run to him for perhaps as many times in return—but he has never truly known what came back to haunt her on any given night. She has far too many old wounds to count; some of them she had sustained as a soldier, others as a daughter, and many more as some other version of herself in between.

The Riza on his bed now is the Riza he likes best. A Riza who is at peace, a Riza who has momentarily forgotten the things she has done and the horrors she has been through. He is grateful for this Riza because he has never seen her forgive herself in any waking moment. He is certain that he had agreed to this exchange of favors so she could have the chance to be _this_ Riza. And he would stay on any number of old couches to let her retreat to this safe space, for as many nights as she would need to heal—even if healing is nowhere in sight.

Roy notices a stray lock of hair that has fallen across her cheek, just touching her lips, and he has just enough sense to keep himself from brushing it away. Physical touch isn’t part of their agreement. He cannot hold her close as she breaks down, he cannot wipe her tears, he cannot whisper reassurances in her ear. He tries not to delude himself with the hope that they may be able to do any of these someday. She doesn’t need other burdens, least of all _him_ , when he isn’t blameless, when he has his own demons to wrestle with, demons that he brings to her when it’s his turn to seek her company.

At the very least, he can make her a cup of coffee when she wakes up. She has been here enough times for him to know just how she likes it.


End file.
